if anyone ever calls you a slut just say ‘and yet i still won’t fuck you’ and then blow them a kiss as you saunter away because that’s the closest they’re ever gonna get to your magnificence, o smaug, chiefest and greatest of calamaties
Ladies real talk
how do people on tumblr become so interesting that people actually willingly ask them about their life like i’ve been here for 3 years and i’m pretty sure half of you don’t even know my name
I wish I had two sided friendships. I wish I didn’t always have to initiate.always.and I wish I could call up a friend and see if they wanna go for a cup of coffee
This is what happens when you spill flour on a cat
Phantom if the opurra
He looks so strange without the mustache.
You mean damn fine.
that’s what I’m talking about
Why is he super attractive. It makes me uncomfortable.
Now I just feel lied to
Moral of the story: mustaches only look cool when you’re looking in the mirror
Wait a damn second